Victoriam Speramus
by NextNothingNew
Summary: It has been two years since L died, and Kira is law of the world. Light's life is interrupted, however, when the late detective turns up on the street with no memory other than his name. Slash. Discontinued.
1. Chapter 1

-1**A/N:** Goddess, I love this song. It's called _Victoriam Speramus _and I have no clue what it means. But it sounds gorgeous. The cool part is that I have this song _and_ the Death Note amv. You gotta love downloading. I was reading _Once is Once_ on AFF.N and got this idea. (btw, if you get the chance, read _Once is Once_, because it is the _best_.) Read and review or zombies will attack. Also, the beginning is slightly similar to OIO, but that's all. So please don't think I have the intention of copying it, because I definitely don't. And I'm not sure how, but I'm pretty sure I'm butchering the time line. **I warn you; this has spoilers for names and fates.**

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, never will be, thanks for reminding me. All music belongs to it's respective artists, all right reserved. Don't sue me.

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_When all the lights go down  
And when the final curtain falls  
When there is nothing left to say_

Eternity eventually will linger  
Through abandoned halls  
And leave us dark in disarray  


_One man's piece of mind  
Might be another man's despair  
In these so enigmatic times_

When some pray for redemptions  
I hope they redeem themselves through prayer  
To each his own, this is your life  


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Today was the day L had died. Or at least, it was the anniversary of the great event, which had taken place two years ago.

Age twenty-two, Light twirled a pen in his hand just as he had those four years ago when he had been eighteen, staring at the TV in his office. Being the Chief of Police, he had quite the office, with a lovely view. The fact that he was still secretly Kira, and better yet, _accepted by the world_, was a bonus. The four were all dead; L, Mello, Near, and Matt, and the small police force that had been resisting Kira had been disbanded. He had no clue, nor did he give a damn, where the rest of the task force had gone. He was Kira. _He had won___

"I'm hungry."

Light turned his head to stare at the shinigami Ryuk, who he could have sworn had just finished off a bundle of apples. "Really? For something that's _dead_, you sure eat a lot."

"I told you," Ryuk let his abnormally long arms hang down, cocking his head to the side like an owl, "it's an addiction."

Light glanced at the TV again, then at the clock. Well, it _was_ 5:32 already. He stood and opened the door. "Aiko-san? I'm heading home for the day." He said as he brushed past her, not even bothering to look at the woman.

"Good day, Yagami-san!" she called, but he was already gone.

"Are you going to buy me some apples?" Ryuk asked, floating along behind him, staring hopefully at Light's head.

"Yes, of course." Light muttered. The shinigami's stare was eerily like that of a certain dead detective's. Ironic that L would - and had - stared at him for hours on end like the death god, when it had been _Light_ playing the role. As quickly as possible, he ducked inside a small grocery store and snatched a few apples - all red, as they were Ryuk's favorite - and placed the money on the counter. The sales woman, around twenty-seven, gave him a fast once over - then did a double take while placing the money inside the cash register. Light threw her a pleasant smile when leaving, not for one moment feeling the warmth the look should have conveyed.

He held the three apples, cradled against his chest. He licked his lips as he walked through the park - green grass, cool damp air, it was probably going to rain - and threw one carelessly over his shoulder. He heard Ryuk attack it, the loud crunching, and then the demand for another.

Just as he raised the apple, he paused, and held it five inches from his face, thoughtful. Then Light took a bite, and tossed the last one behind him for Ryuk.

Tart, tangy, sweet flavors flooded over his tongue, his mouth watered, and he took another bite as he walked. He actually hadn't eaten an apple for a while, because they always went to Ryuk.

Something tiny hit the red skin, he looked up. They hit his cheeks, his lips. He had been right; it was raining. He took a few more large, hasty bites, and relinquished the half eaten apple to Ryuk.

He shot across the lawn, water seeping into the bottom of his slacks, and down the sidewalk. The citizens of Tokyo were fleeing from the rain like it would drown them, holding newspapers and hands over heads. Vague, then sharp flashes of memories long forgotten -

- _the rain_ _soaking there clothes - _

_- hands at his feet - _

_- his fingers drying black hair -_

Light came to an abrupt halt, squeezed his eyes shut, and rubbed his temples. He leaned back against a brick building, watching as a car flew by, way over the speed limit. His head hurt, and he was going to catch cold out here, as the rain was coming down harder than ever.

_Home. I was going home. Down the streets, through the door, and maybe to sleep._

Taking a deep breath, he straitened, squared his shoulders, and took a forceful, quick step forward. Something moved out from around the corner of the red wall.

Before he had a chance to think, he collided with it, momentarily shocked, then managed to save himself from hitting wet concrete, scraping his palm in the process. He lifted his head, speaking through surprise, "I'm so sor-" and the oops-my-fault-I'm-so-clumsy smile faded, "-ry…"

The young man shrugged, hands replaced in his pockets. "It's fine." He replied. His black, unruly, uncombed hair was dripping wet, just like _that day_, baggy blue jeans damp, white shirt see through and sticking and clinging to his frame, and _where the hell were his shoes?_

That apple had to have lodged itself in his esophagus, and Light had only noticed it until this very second.

"L!" He snapped, verbally lashing out without thought once he could speak.

The other, who had looked bored to death - _what a stupid saying_ - suddenly snapped to attention with way more interest. "Do you know me?"

The correct question would have been 'do I know you?' not 'do you know me?'. And it should not have been asked with such curiosity. Instead of his mind running through a list of possibilities and outcomes, it seemed to have shut down. "I-I…Ryuzaki!" he burst out finally.

He looked surprised, and slightly confused. Rain drops rolled down and followed the curve of lips as he said, "no, my name is L. I know that for sure - it's L Lawliet."

Light's mouth opened without command, as he had obviously lost control of his facial muscles. He snapped it shut, glaring, grabbed L's thin wrist, and pulled his down the street. "That's your name! You can't just _tell me your name!_" Exasperation and a need for something - normal - something _real_ - no, not real-

_But he's dead._

Had he not been in complete shock, he would have been horrified (and perhaps a little amused) to know that the great L's name was really that. L Lawliet.

Light wrenched open the door after fumbling with the keys, flung the once dead now alive L inside, and slammed it shut.

"What is that?"

Light froze in the middle of his mad rampage, looking at L, who was pointing at…Light?

No. He was pointing _past_ Light, at Ryuk.

And L had a curious, wide eyed look, as if he'd just seen a friendly ghost. Which technically wasn't far off the mark. If Light's terrific memory served correctly, L already knew what Ryuk was. Ignoring the question, however, he began an interrogation, because he _needed_ to know what was going on.

"What's his name?" Referring to Ryuk.

"I don't know."

He held up his hand. "How many fingers?"

"Three."

"Who wrote the _Inferno_, and in what language originally?"

"Dante, Italian."

"What's your name?"

"L Lawliet."

_Fate is sick and twisted. _"What's _my_ name?"

"I don't know."

Light tapped something into his phone, sitting across from L, who had taken that weird fetal type position, toes tapping the edge of the couch. "What's this?"

"…the word Kira."

A pause. "Anything else?"

"…are you asking for a font?"

Light snapped his phone shut, sighing. "And do you know who Kira is?"

L tipped his head back, staring intently at the ceiling. Abruptly, his gaze snapped back to Light. "Is Kira you?"

"…my name," he replied, because everything seemed…off, somehow, and lying directly to L seemed, for lack of a better word, wrong. Not the moralistic, it-is-not-right-to-lie wrong, but the there's-something-strange-going-on sort of wrong. "Is Yagami Light."

Something flashed behind the eyes, like L had caught something, and he peered at Light. "You avoided the question…Light-kun?"

Light nodded acceptance at the honorific. Ah. L was still L, it seemed. Extraordinarily intelligent, and able to spot a lie or even half lie a mile away. He didn't remember anything except his name, but he was still…well, annoying would be an excellent description. L was sitting with his legs curled up, nibbling on his nail in that absent, yet totally paying attention way of his. Still. And he was still his I-_look_-nineteen-but-don't-be-fooled…wait a minute.

Expression carefully neutral, Light needed to ask one more question, because he really couldn't help himself. "And how old are you?"

"What year is it?" L replied instead.

"…two thousand eight."

"Huh…well, that would make me twenty-seven, but I could have _sworn_ I was twenty-five…"  
Light halted in his act of instinctively leaning forward, every emotion he had been showing gone. He felt every ounce of blood drain from his face. "…_what?_" he fairly choked out. "You're _what?_" He was feeling an out of place sense of dread/horror, along with shock, and an insane inclination towards laughter. It really shouldn't have affected him this much, but it was just…so… he was _three freaking years older than him!_ Ah, that felt better. Immediately every reaction was gone, save for the freakish blush that was covering his skin. Why in the hell was he blushing? Perhaps he was simply embarrassed. It just seemed odd, that L was older than him. Had always been older than him. Of course, Light had always assumed, but everyone had always spoken of them as though they were equals, and that had automatically diffused the age issue in his mind. Or maybe it was that he felt thrown off by it; not that it made a difference, he had won, after all. Excluding the fact that L was not, in fact, dead. He was just wandering around Tokyo without shoes. And without memory, it seemed.

Or maybe, now that he was really thinking about it, it was that he had been handcuffed to an older man for months on end.

Dread/horror/shock/laughter was slowly being replaced by another emotion; Light was feeling slightly disturbed.

Now he was _really_ blushing, gods dammit all. "Oh." he said lamely, to fill the silence in which L watched him, probably silently laughing his ass off. If he had his memory and was faking amnesia.

Well, now what the fuck was he supposed to do? Kill L _again_? How? The Death Note was obvious, but if it didn't kill L before, there was really no reason why it should now. He could easily (well, maybe not easily, if L's kicks were anything to go by) kill L with his bare hands…or shoot him and say he had been a robber. Pictures began to form of him doing such a thing, and Light backed away from there immediately, the phantom sickness from when he had killed that biker outside the convenience store returning from all those years ago. Ryuk might now what had gone wrong, but he seriously doubted the shinigami would tell him if he did. He could always threaten him by cutting off his apple supply, but then Ryuk might kill him. Tricking the shinigami seemed much safer, although Light couldn't think of how at the moment.

First things first; he needed to establish a hypothesis as to what had happened.

The Death Note had not worked, and L had never died, and had simply disappeared/gone undercover…for two years. Next.

He had been knocked into another plane of existence instead of dying, which had wiped his memory clean, except for his name, age, and aversion to shoes. Which Light immediately dismissed.

Or, he had died and come back to life. He was solid, however, so that left out ghosts. Light peeked at L. He didn't _look_ like a zombie…

Okay, now he was just being stupid.

"So, we're friends."

"Huh?" Light answered, quite stupidly.

"You let me call you '-kun'. That means you know me, and that also establishes a close bond…friends?" L asked, smiling slightly in that horridly child like way Light remembered.

"You always called me your friend." He admitted carefully. Running his fingers through his damp hair, he stood. "Tea?" he offered over his shoulder as he made his way to the kitchen.

The once late raven haired twenty-five year old blinked at him. "Bring the sugar bowl?"

Feeling a reluctant smile tug at the corners of his mouth, Light answered. "Of course."

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**A/N:** Hahahahaha and so begins yet a second great story of DN slash by D.A.K. ::Ducks rocks:: Yeah, no worries; I am working on Heal Me and the Fire and Ice pieces as well. I finished the last book today (which I also started today) I had left of Amelia Atwater Rhodes; Shattered Mirror. I hope she writes another one…

Anyhow :yawn: it's 8:39 PM here. Must…keep…writing…I already know what lyrics to use! Now review and _click that chapter two button!_


	2. Chapter 2

-1**A/N:** Yeh, it's now 8:41 PM here! Like you all care. So, the song is All The Way. I have the DN slash vid for this one too, and it's a _Once is Once_ tribute. Holy shitake. I nearly cried with happiness when I say this. Read. Once. Is. Once. NOW. The lyrics just fit so freaking well for this fic. **I repeat: Spoilers.**

**Disclaimer:** Death Note, Light, L Lawliet, are not mine at all. If they were, it would be slash, and happy…ish. At the very least, L and Light wouldn't die. The music is _All The Way_ by…um, someone who is not me. All rights reserved.

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_I wish that you were ugly_

_Then it wouldn't be so hard_

_I shouldn't be complaining_

_But you were holding all the cards_

_You should have bit your lip_

_Instead of biting mine_

_In want to go all the way_

_But something tells me that won't happen_

_You've started to take this thing too far (too far)_

_In want to go all the way_

_But going there would leave me broken _

_Gotta stop dreaming about your own perfection_

_Gotta put myself in the right direction_

_You knew what you were doing _

_When you led me by the hand_

_I find it so confusing _

'_Cause there's one thing I don't understand_

_You're older _

_But it seems to me that I'm wiser_

_There's just one too many consequences_

_There's only so much I can take_

_You've forgotten more than I remember_

_I guess the choice is mine to make_

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Light set the tea cups down on the low table between them, watching L immediately reach for the sugar. "You can shower too, if you like. I have clothes you can borrow. Loose ones, so they won't be uncomfortable." He added as an after thought, and to get L to agree.

The once late detective nodded, spilling a very…alarming…amount of sugar into his coffee, and downing it. He must not have been alive for very long, because he wasn't shaking or near death. Well, actually, he was as close to death as any human could get, considering he was in the same room with one death god and one international killer. Drinking tea with said killer. Who had tricked _another_ death god into killing him, but that wasn't the point. The point was that he had sugar, and he looked a mess, so Light decided L wasn't an immediate threat.

Still, he was probably hungry. "Want anything? Soba? Teriyaki? Ramen? Pizza? Pasta?…cake?"

"Cake." Well, duh. Light knew that, but he had to make sure. Actually, that couldn't be very healthy if L just woke up from death. But it never had been very healthy, and that had never stopped him from eating sweets day and night.

Light brought the cake, and a fork, and let L at it. The starving man polished off the plate in under ten minutes. _A full cake…gods._ Light thought, snickering even though he felt a little revolted. "Better?" he asked.

L nodded. "Thank you, Light-kun."

Aforementioned Light-kun nodded. "Shower's that way."

Picking up the plates as L left for the bathroom, he set them in the sink just as he heard water running. Despite the lack of threat, Light couldn't shake the feeling he was screwed. At least it had been L who had come back to life. At least it hadn't been some psychopathic criminal. At least it had been the only person on the entire damn planet he could have an intelligent conversation with, who might have even been a friend, had they met under ordinary circumstances.

_All in all_, Light reflected as he picked clothes for sleeping out for L, _this is the best worse thing that could possibly happen._ As to how it had happened, he could ask Ryuk. Who had apparently gone outside. Unable to determine if this was a bad or good thing, he went to the bathroom door.

"L?" he called, knocking. "I'm coming in for a second." He slid in past the door, setting the clothes on the marble counter.

"Light-kun?"

"Your clothes. They're right here. It's around," he glanced at his watch, "eight," he said, surprised, "so we'll be going to sleep soon." Not that the words had any sort of innuendo or double entendres or anything like that, but they did make him pause for a minute.

"Thank you, Light-kun." came L's voice, muffled by the towel he drying his face with. For no reason he could distinguish, other than the fact that it was impulse to look at a person when they spoke to you, he looked up. The outlines were blurred by the warped glass and condensation, so it wasn't that he could really see anything. Nonetheless, Light looked away as he answered.

"You're welcome, L." He backed out and shut the door, taking his seat in the living room. When entering the flat, you walked strait into the living room. Directly to your left was the hallway, bathroom on the left side and Light's bedroom farther back. The right side of the hallway was a wall that separated it from the kitchen, which was clearly visible from the living room, also on the left. The right was just a wall, and in front of you was a large, open window, overlooking the city, which Light usually kept shut. As such, he saw L leave the bathroom, stopping to get the kinks out of his body.

L, dressed in plane white pants and shirt (silk), did an interesting move(**1**) where he whirled around, kicking up as he did so, only to land on that foot and do _another_ kick. It was so fast and unexpected, Light didn't know how to react, and said nothing. A brief flood of memories had him thinking of all the times they fought; specifically, when L had hit Light so hard he had gone flying backwards, pulled L with him because they had been chained together then, and their combined weight had knocked over the couch.

L then took it upon himself to stretch. He put both hands together and lifted them above his head, arcing his back and standing on his toes. Light, leaning on his hand, blinked at the sight, watching as L slumped over again (abruptly, so that it startled Light, as well).

"L?" He said, still staring.

He glanced up. "Yes?"

"Stand up like that again." he said, standing and walking over so that he was a foot or so away.

"…okay." L did; Light found that he was just as tall as himself. L stared down at him, waiting for an explanation, and…no, L _was_ taller than him.

L was taller than him. And older than him. Light really just could not let the age thing go, and now he had to think about the height thing too. "Thank you," he muttered calmly as L sat down in the chair, wincing. Light arced an eyebrow at L's back. "Something wrong?"

"My muscles feel odd." L mumbled, frowning at the coffee table.

_Well, you have been dead for two years._ That would not be the best thing to say. It was a near miracle that L wasn't hammering him with questions. The man had probably worked out that he had amnesia, and was in safe hands, and had nothing to worry about. Which was half true.

In any such case, his personality was in check, along with his name and basic information about himself. It suddenly occurred to Light that L's insomnia would probably still be rampant, much like his sugar addiction, and strained muscles would not help. As he set his hands on L's shoulders, he half expected him to tense up in suspicion, but his enemy/friend simply leaned into the touch, making an appreciative noise.

Without realizing what he was really doing, he slipped his thumbs under the back of L's collar, rubbing a circle on each shoulder. It was almost fascinating, the way L's eyelids fluttered shut, how his lips parted slightly when he relaxed, which Light had never seen him do. Eventually, he lifted his right hand and rested his thumb on his lower lip, nail tip not even touching his teeth. Tilting his head back, he looked strait at Light, who had been leaning over L to see his expression.

"Light-kun?" he asked in a quiet voice.

"Hm?"

"Were we close as friends?"

His hands stilled for a moment, now completely under the layer of silk and clutching the curve of shoulder.

That was…a very odd question. L _had_ said, on numerous occasions, that they were friends, had said that Light was his very first friend, all the while trying to prove whether or not Light was the supernatural killer Kira. They had respected each other, had enjoyable conversations, and even their fights had been left as almost fond memories in his mind. Had they met under normal circumstances, he had no doubt that they would have become very good friends, perhaps even…

Where had 'perhaps' come from? Feeling an odd, not exactly bad, twist in his stomach, Light decided the rest of the thought would have been 'best friends'.

"Yes." he replied finally, and L looked forward again. Light began his massage again, and watched as L's eyes slid shut, hand laying limp in his lap. "We met when I was eighteen…you showed up in the same university as myself, and we were the guest speakers at the welcoming ceremony. Perfect results on every test. We played tennis together, went out for a cup of coffee…and…we just became friends." _And you suspected I was a mass murderer, so you stalked me for awhile before dragging me into the investigation and putting me in solitary confinement for a few months. Then I lost my memory, there became a new mass murder, and you let me out and handcuffed us together._ Now that he thought about it, it was all kind of funny. _Then regained my memory, had you killed, become god of this world, Chief of Police, and here you are in my house, getting a massage_. Yep, that about summed it up.

L turned a bit, like he was going to ask something. No doubt he had heard the holes in the story, like when the last time he had been seen, the name of the school, things like that. However, all he said was, "is it time to go to sleep?"

Stilling his movements, Light pulled his hands away, only then noticing where they had been. Feeling disturbed yet again, he let them fall to his sides. "Yes. Follow me."

L did, wandering past the door held open for him by Light, who turned around to stare at the bed. The one bed. _Shit_. He had assumed they would share the same bed because that was what he was used to - they had done the same thing when handcuffed together, and it had seemed only natural. But L didn't remember this, so how exactly was Light going to explain it? A shortage of beds at the dormitory?

If L thought it strange that they were sleeping in the same bed, he didn't let it show; he climbed right under the dark blue sheets and adopted his curled up position like they were still chained together.

Skin feeling irritatingly hot, Light realized he hadn't dressed for bed yet, and turned away as he pulled his shirt off. He could feel L's eyes on his uncovered back, and reverently hoped he wasn't making him nervous. After he was dressed in soft navy blue, he slid into the bed, next to L. The weak tension was already gone by the time his eyes slid shut.

"Light-kun?"

"Yeah?" he sighed without opening his eyes. After a moment of silence, however, he sat up, propped up by his elbow. "Ryuza-L?" This prompted L to speak.

" 'Ryuza-'?" he asked softly.

"You went by Ryuuga at the university, sometimes I called you Ryuzaki." Light answered dismissively. "Is something wrong?"

L shifted, head resting on his hand. "Just nervous, I guess. I want answers tomorrow, but I don't know…don't know if I want to know."

Light's eyes widened at the confession. L would have never said this so easily to Light, not when he thought he might be Kira. He looked a bit sad, as well. Light was suddenly horrified to see L's eyes wet, a tear gathering in the corner. Caught completely off guard, he lifted his hand and pulled the blanket up around the maverick's slim shoulders. "It'll be fine, Ryu." He said, and L smiled at him, looking immensely relieved. If he had been on the verge of crying, it didn't show now as he gave Light's hand a quick squeeze before shutting his eyes.

Well, Light felt like the worst person on earth. And at the same time he felt oddly pleased that he had laid a few of L's fears to rest.

"Light-kun…" came the same voice, and could hear the effects of sleep in the words, "did we ever fight?"

He almost laughed, and settle for a grin. "All the time. I think we loved to argue, it always happened, everyday, but we worked so well together… sometimes it escalated and we fought physically…but…" he felt the smile fade, thinking of how to word himself. "It wasn't…that we weren't angry, it was just that…well, we never hated each other, the fights always happened. But we got over them instantly and went strait back to work."

"Were…there ever times…where we wouldn't speak to each other…?"

"No." the answer came instantly. "No, we always spoke."

"We were good friends…"

"We were very good friends."

A moment later, he could hear the rhythmic sound of breathing. It was at that time that Ryuk floated into the room, took one look at them, and went right back out.

Scowling slightly, Light pulled the covers up further, hand resting on L's shoulder again.

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**1**. The move L does? You can see it in the opening or closing credits of DN. I saw it at 2:08 in the Victoriam Speramus vid. If you want to know how to get it, contact me with a message.


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